IMPROVE YOUR GOLF GAME.
WITH CANDLES.
Take an unorthodox way to "smoke" your competition with theme inspired golf candles.
🌎 WHY YOUR GAME IS STUCK
Golf is a game of endless fixes that never fix anything.
You pay for lessons, but walk away with more swing thoughts than swings. Your brain becomes a golf instruction graveyard.
You buy the latest driver, only to watch your slice get… longer.
You collect training aids, most of which end up in the garage. Your garage looks like a golf equipment museum of failure.
The result? Golfers are stuck in a cycle of overthinking, overspending, and underperforming. It's like being stuck in a golf instruction Groundhog Day, but with worse fashion.
✨ WHAT YOU WANT
What they really need isn't another gadget or guru —
👉 it's a way to feel calm, confident, and in control every time they play.
DISCOVER A DIFFERENT WAY
Introducing the world's first golf-performance candles.
Instead of draining your wallet on equipment and swing tips, Match Play Candles give golfers what they actually need:
A ritual
light the wick, flip the mental switch. It's like a light switch for your golf brain, but with better aromatherapy.
A placebo that works
calmer mind = smoother swing. Science can't prove it, but your playing partners will notice the difference.
An edge you can afford
$12 for confidence vs $500 for disappointment. That's like choosing between a good meal and a divorce lawyer.
A story
because nothing says "I'm locked in" like burning a candle before your tee time. Your playing partners will think you're either spiritual or insane. Win-win.
IMPROVE YOUR SCORES, YOUR SKILLS, OR BOTH
Choose your path to golf enlightenment.
Scoring Candles
Designed to manifest scratch-level scores.
👉 Designed to align your vibes with victory.
Par Fumes
"The scent of adequacy."
Fresh linen • ocean air • eucalyptus
You know what's worse than a bogey? Nothing. Because once you start writing down fives, you're basically playing bowling with golf clubs. Par Fumes makes mediocrity smell like success.
BUY ON ETSY - $12
Birdie Bliss
"One-putts, sometimes."
Grapefruit • lime • mint
Birdies don't just happen. They're a lifestyle choice. With Birdie Bliss, you'll feel the putter turn from a blunt weapon into a scalpel. Warning: May cause excessive fist-pumping and unsolicited swing advice to strangers.
BUY ON ETSY - $12
Eagle Energy
"For getting there in two."
Pine needle • cedarwood • sage
Eagles are for professionals, prodigies, and liars. But you? You can join their ranks by letting Eagle Energy course through your veins like an overcaffeinated sports drink. Side effects may include telling everyone about your 'eagle putt' from 40 feet.
BUY ON ETSY - $12
Specialty Candles
Built to level up parts of your game.
👉 Your mental swing coach in a tin.
Bogey Blocker
"Keeps those pesky things away."
Sage • sandalwood • vanilla
Bogeys creep in like uninvited dinner guests. Bogey Blocker is your invisible force field against disaster. Light it up and feel invincible. Warning: May cause you to loudly declare 'I'm not taking a bogey today' before every shot.
BUY ON ETSY - $12
Slice Spice
"Cures curves with calmness."
Citrus • mint • eucalyptus
You aim down the middle. Your ball? It's off on a pilgrimage to another fairway. The slice is cruel, loud, and always waiting when strangers are watching. But Slice Spice brings balance, calm, and just enough delusion. Your ball might still slice, but you'll be too zen to care.
BUY ON ETSY - $12
Shank Shield
"Prevents embarrassment."
Sage • rosemary • cedar
There are bad shots… and then there are shanks. Shanks aren't just bad—they're traumatic. They ricochet, they whimper, they make your playing partners question their friendship with you. Shank Shield is your invisible armor. It's like having a force field that makes shanks feel like 'strategic course management.'
BUY ON ETSY - $12
3-Putt Prevention
"Just tap tap tapparoo."
Lavender • chamomile • vanilla
The 3-putt: a haunting melody played on repeat in every golfer's nightmares. Lag it short, ram it long, miss the comebacker. With 3-Putt Prevention, every putt rolls with just the right touch. It's like having a putting coach who never judges your green reading skills.
BUY ON ETSY - $12📊 WHY CHOOSE CANDLES?
Over traditional fixes
| Feature | Lessons ($100/hr) | New Driver ($500) | Match Play Candle ($12) |
|---|---|---|---|
| Works instantly (allegedly) | ✖ | ✖ | ✅ |
| Smells great | ✖ | ✖ | ✅ |
| Improves mental game | 🤷 | 🤷 | ✅ |
| Conversation starter | ✖ | ✖ | ✅ |
| Costs less than Pro V1s | ✖ | ✖ | ✅ |
| Makes you look mysterious | ✖ | ✖ | ✅ |
| Doubles as home decor | ✖ | ✖ | ✅ |
⚙️ HOW IT WORKS
Our 3-Step Methodology
Light the Ritual
Pick your potion.
Trust the Placebo
Is it science? Magic? Marketing? Yes.
Celebrate Responsibly
When you score, act like you've been there.
(Not USGA-approved. Fun guaranteed, results may vary.)
WHERE TO USE THEM
In the office, around the house, in the golf cart, on the tee box, in your vehicle on the way to the course... our scents are designed to get you in the zone.
🚗 In the Car
Get in the zone on your way to the course
🏠 Around the House
Make your living room smell like victory
🏢 Around the Office
Transform your cubicle into a driving range
🎯 On the Tee Box
Pre-shot ritual that actually works
🚽 On the Toilet
Essential equipment for mental game
🏌️♂️ Anywhere
Because golf is a state of mind
🔬 OUR SECRET SAUCE
Match Play Candles are scientifically designed using uniquely sourced fragrances and ingredients from a top secret location that may or may not have one time been exposed to Tiger Woods in 2000. We captured it, didn't patent it, and now we're selling it.
🕯️ Jars, Wicks, and Wax Blessed By The GOAT
2000's era Tiger magic
HEAR IT FROM HACKERS LIKE YOU
"I'll buy some!"
— Todd, weekend ringer
"Lmao I'll take five. One for each of my groomsmen."
— Albert, Wedding Planner
"Where the hell did you get those?"
— A believer is born
"This is the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen. I need three."
— Mike, Golf Pro
"My wife thinks I'm crazy. I think I'm brilliant."
— Dave, 18-handicap dreamer
"If this doesn't work, at least my house will smell amazing."
— Sarah, Realistic Golfer
💵 PRICING
$12 EACH
(or 2 for $24 "Friends & Family" special)
Premium soy blend
Cotton wick
Hand-poured
Golf karma included
🚀 READY TO LOWER YOUR SCORES, MAYBE?
Stop wasting money on lessons and overpriced gear.
Light up your golf game instead.
❓ FAQ
Do these actually make me play better?
They make you calmer, which makes you smoother, which makes you better. That's our story and we're sticking to it. Placebo effect is still an effect, right?
Are they legal in competition?
Yes. Lighting them on the tee box may be frowned upon. But hey, if you're that desperate, you probably need the help.
Return policy?
If you don't love it, we'll swap or refund. If you don't love the concept, we'll question your sense of humor. Life's too short for boring candles.
What if my playing partners make fun of me?
Tell them you're doing 'aromatherapy research.' If they still laugh, they're probably the same people who think golf pants are a good idea.
🤔 WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO LOSE?
Other than more golf balls?
At $12 a pop, these candles cost less than a sleeve of Pro V1s and last longer than your last relationship with a golf instructor.
Your dignity?
Already lost that on the 3rd hole
Your money?
Less than a bad lunch at the clubhouse
Your time?
You're already here reading this